Healing is possible.
The abuse was NOT your fault.
Start your healing journey now.
men are adult male survivors
of childhood sexual abuse
We all know survivors…
At least 1 in 6 men have been sexually assaulted in their lifetime. The consequences can be significant and long term, including mental and physical health issues and dysfunctional relationships. It has been difficult for men who were sexually abused as a child to come forward and there are relatively limited resources available which are focused exclusively on understanding mens’ issues and considerations for healing.
We are cc4ms – Canadian Centre for Male Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse. We are a not for profit organization committed to being a world-class, dedicated treatment centre with evidence-based, holistic programs for adult male survivors of childhood sexual abuse. We aim to connect men and their families with specialized services and to network with professionals, individuals and agencies providing similar services. Currently, we are concentrating on education and advocacy.
If you’re not in denial and you face what’s really hurting and get at the problem, you deflate its power.
I really didn’t want to go there, I was terrified. But when I was there, in that environment with that group of people, I knew that I wasn’t alone. I knew that I could do this here, something I couldn’t do even in front of my family. Then as soon as it passed, I was so relieved.
Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.
Healing takes courage, and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it.
I’ve learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.
When it comes to people who are on a path of healing, I say bravo — Welcome to the wonderment of finding yourself. It’s the greatest journey you’ll ever take in your life — the one of self!
If you fell down yesterday, stand up today.
In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.
A problem well stated is a problem half solved.
I feel very blessed.
What is male sexual assault?
- Any non-consensual act of sexual coercion and/or domination which threatens someone’s physical and/or psychological well-being.
- Physical force is not essential. Non-consent may be due to threats, coercion or altered states of consciousness, such as intoxication or ‘rape drugs.’
- Coercion may be in the form of threats of harm to a person’s physical, emotional or financial well-being.
- Unwanted sexual touching, oral or anal contact, is sexual assault.
Things to Note:
- Even if a boy or man has an erection or ejaculated, it is still sexual assault.
- Perpetrators can be male or female. If a heterosexual man is assaulted by a man, this does not make him homosexual.
- Male perpetrators are not necessarily homosexual; in fact, the majority identify as heterosexuals.
- Gay, bisexual and two-spirited men can be sexually assaulted by strangers, friends or even partners — just like straight men. Assault has nothing to do with sexual orientation.
How to Help:
- Help him find a place where he feels safe.
- Listen to him and believe him.
- Reassure him that the assault was not his fault.
- Respect his decisions. They are his to make.
- Encourage him to seek help from a professional.
- Let him know that he is not alone.
- Be aware of your own feelings about men who have been sexually assaulted.
- Know your limitations and be clear about how much support you are able to offer.
- Seek support for your own feelings and reactions.